How to tell someone | C.I.R.E.S.

How to Tell Someone About

My Sexual Assault?

Sexual assaults and harassments are still tabu in our culture, and when something like this happens, it can be hard to reach out for help and figure out what to do next.

To help solve this problem, we offer useful resources and step-by-step guides on how to talk about assault, how to respond to a survivor's story, how to recognize a toxic environment and others.

Please note that none of us at C.I.R.E.S. project are trained to offer licensed therapeutic or legal counseling, but we made a list of organizations that offer professional help.

If you've been harassed or sexually assaulted and want to talk about it, the suggestions below might be helpful for you:

Find a person you trust

It doesn’t matter how close you are. It may be a family member, a friend, a teacher or doctor. Also, don’t forget about online counselling for survivors of sexual assault. The person you choose has to be trustworthy, caring, able to listen to you and keep your secret if you ask them to.

Choose a comfortable place and time

Telling your secret may be exhausting and challenging. Speak when you feel ready, not when the other person is expecting you to give the details. Find a place where you will feel comfortable and safe, where nobody can disturb you or listen to the things you don’t want to tell anybody else.

Tell only the things you want to

Feel free to share as many details as you feel comfortable to share. It is ok not to tell each part of the story, if you don’t feel ready to do that. Focus on your feelings and the way that event affected you.

Tell them how they can help you

As a rule, when a person hears this kind of story, they want to help you recover. Tell them the way you would like to get help. Everybody has their own way of recovering - some need more space, some - a shoulder to cry on, or maybe just to have a walk with you.

Why telling someone about your experience, can be helpful?

Because it’s an important step to recovery. And remember, you are in control of how, when, and whom you tell. But at the same time don't force yourself to re-live your experience, by telling it. You have every right to stop talking about it, if you don’t have the energy to have painful conversations or deal with any other consequences that such a coming-out can generate.