How do you feel about the limits in a relationship?
C.I.R.E.S. is a project that encourages open conversation about consent. Here we share personal stories and learn to respect each other.
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What do you know
about consent?
Consent is not a new concept. But we, as a society, don’t pay enough attention to what exactly is consent and how dramatically its absence in different areas of our life can affect us.
That's why we came up with a simple way to memorize the main principles of consent - an acronym composed of five characteristics, that are mandatory for consent to be full.
Consent is:
Conscious
Consenting is a choice you make without pressure, manipulation, or without being under the influence of drugs or alcohol or while being asleep.
Informed
You can only consent to something if you are aware of important details as health risks and STDs your partner has/had, or any other information that might be of interest for you (like marital status or age).
Reversible
Anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, anytime. Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re already naked in bed.
Enthusiastic
When it comes to sex, you should only do stuff you WANT to do and WHEN you want it to do them. It’s definitely not about things that you feel you’re expected to do.
Specific
Saying yes to one thing
(like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to others
(like mutual masturbation).
See, to open the subject of consent, it is enough to ask yourself: "Is it really C.I.R.E.S.?" - and check which letter is missing in your case.
And remember, even if you’ve given consent, you’re allowed to say “stop” at any time. Your partner/s need to respect that.
If they don’t, you have the power to walk away or seek help from others.
Also, make sure your partner/s feel comfortable with you allowing them to stop, whenever they need or want to.
Rejection shouldn't affect your worth.